You Shall Not Squat Tee

When Gandalf planted his staff and shouted, he wasn’t just stopping Balrogs — he was also dodging leg day. This tee takes the legendary line and gives it gym-life context: some days, the only squat you’re doing is shutting down the rack altogether. The design mashes Tolkien with treadmills, setting the tone for anyone who’d rather guard the chalk bowl than touch a barbell. Printed on soft, durable cotton, it holds up through adventures both in Middle-earth and midweek cardio sessions. Whether you’re team Hobbit calves or Mordor mass, this shirt declares one truth: the squat rack is forbidden territory.

Specs:

.: 100% combed, ring-spun cotton (fiber content varies for different colors)
.: Medium fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²))
.: Regular fit
.: Sewn in label
.: Runs true to size